Her Infinite Variety

i am being productive as is possible given the time of…morning?

andrew is working at bridgehead tonight, doing some painting, and i am neither accustomed, nor used to, sleeping alone. combine that with anxieties about weddings, money, school, and schoolwork, and you have a bonafide blogger up at 2:41 in the morning, with a class at 8:30. what am i doing?

right, i’m looking at wedding dresses like they will all be gone tomorrow. i’ve found a few that i a like, most of which have been about a third of our adjusted budget. basically, my father continued to fuck up my finances until it was too late, and now they, by which i mean i, cannot fund our wedding with stocks in my portfolio. oh, i also need to apply for osap, since my resp went to hell in the process. and i need a job so that i can keep paying rent. all this for a crazy little thing called agency.

i’ve replaced finding things quickly with finding things quickly on a budget of 1/4 what we had planned. bahahaha. fuck.

last week was a total cluster. this week is recovery. i have a strange feeling that this will be the first of many late nights of anxiety, school work, and wedding…stuff.

am i nuts to bake my own wedding cake and then ask my mother/andrew’s mother to assemble it the morning of? are we insane to try and make salad for 45 people? well, yes. but what’s that from stopping us?